A day in the life

So, after spending some time with Oliver and I my sister suggested that I keep a tally, just for a day, of how many times I save Oliver's life. At first she suggested cataloging each different incident, but after watching Ollie in action she realized that it would take too much work to write them all down. Rather than keep a daily tally, I decided to pay attention for just a specified period of time, about twenty minutes. This is a list of Ollie's adventures:

(on the deck)

-Oliver tries to crawl off the high side of the deck where there are no stairs, I move him away
-Oliver tries to walk under the picnic table but he has grown too tall and keeps hitting his head, I pull him out from under the table
-Oliver crawls over and sits under the porch swing, I happen to be swinging on the swing so I get off and hold it out of the way
-Oliver puts the cat food in his mouth, I move the catfood to the top of the picnic table
-Oliver tries to drink the cat's water, I distract him with a stick
-Oliver attacks the cat with the stick, I take the stick away
-Oliver climbs into the cats' water dish, I just look the other way
-Oliver goes for the steep side of the deck again, I move him away, again
-Oliver tries to pull his uncles bike over on top of himself, I move the bike off the deck
-Oliver stands up and tries to push the lawn chair off the steep side of the deck, I move Ollie onto the grass
-Oliver makes a beeline for the rocks and begins stuffing them in his mouth, I pick him up and we move inside

(in the kitchen)

-Oliver pushes his walker towards the stairs at top speed, I point him in the other direction
-Oliver pounds on the glass patio door with a golf ball, I move him so that he is pounding on the wall instead
-Oliver opens the cupboard under the sink and plays with the chemical cleaners, I close the cupboard and stand in front of it
-Oliver moves toward the garbage can and removes the lid, I close the lid before he can begin to pull things out
-Oliver heads to the bathroom and unrolls all the toilet paper then closes the door behind him and sits in front of it, I coax him away from the door, open it and re-roll the toilet paper
-Oliver throws the dirt from the house plant all over the floor, I pick him up and we go back outside

(repeat)

This may sound like an exaggeration, but anyone at our house can attest to it's truth. My husband wonders why it now takes me a month to finish a book. Obviously, it is because I can't get through a single sentence without having to put it down and chase after my energetic baby. Can anyone out there relate?